


I wish I'd bruise

by crookedspoon



Series: Exchange Fics [75]
Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: F/M, Father/Daughter Incest, Hurt No Comfort, Introspection, POV Rose Wilson, Post-Break Up, Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:41:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22700413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crookedspoon/pseuds/crookedspoon
Summary: Rose thought she was used to hurting.
Relationships: Jason Todd/Rose Wilson, Rose Wilson/Slade Wilson
Series: Exchange Fics [75]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/51139
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 5





	I wish I'd bruise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [girlsarewolves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlsarewolves/gifts).



Rose is no stranger to pain. She heals quickly, sure, but that only means she can afford hurting herself worse and more often, knowing she doesn't have to deal with it for long. Which doesn't mean it's not excruciating at times. There's only so much adrenaline can mask when spikes are piercing the length of her body.

It's when the pain has faded to a dull memory again that she can acknowledge the effectiveness of Slade's method's. He pushes her to improve fast, so she doesn't keep making the same mistakes. Mistakes could prove fatal in the long run, even if they leave no lasting physical marks.

What Slade has not prepared her for is the hurt that could befall her in other ways.

Jason's words still ring in her ears long after he is gone. She is too stunned to breathe, to think, to do much of anything except stare at the space he has occupied before.

_Was it part of daddy's training to fuck me the whole time?_

Heat suffuses her cheeks, roils in her gut. She feels loose, untethered like a hot air balloon. Like at any moment the ground beneath her feet is going to fall away.

Slade's orders were to get close to the Titans, to gain their trust, by whatever means necessary. At the time, making her move on Jason was calculated. He was the weakest link, the one who never quite belonged, no matter how much he tried to play by their rules, who chafed against those rules in the first place. He was the perfect mark. However she would end up playing them against each other, he would draw suspicion, not her.

Flirting with him was Rose's decision. Slade had never told her to, nor liked the idea. She was supposed to get close to the Titans, sure, but not _that_ close.

"I don't want any of them touching you," he told her sternly.

"You're making a bigger deal out of this than it has to be," she said, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "It's not like it means anything."

"It means something to me."

The hand that touched her cheek was strong and calloused and she leaned into its warmth, hoping he wouldn't feel the heat in her cheeks. His gaze was intensely scrutinizing like when he cleaned her wounds and inspected her skin for any scratches he might have missed.

"Is that jealousy I detect?" she asked.

In the beginning, Rose had taken his scrutiny for disapproval of her performance, for getting hurt in the first place, and it might as well have been, but she also read concern in his features. Concern for her safety. Yet unlike her mother, that concern did not make him fuss over her. He trusted her to take care of herself. It was the first time he – or anyone else, for that matter – had treated her like an adult. The sense of freedom she got from it was dizzying.

Dizzying like the kiss he stole from her then.

That was something she only later learned to recognize in his gaze: desire. Slade did not only want to mold her into a perfect soldier for his cause, he also wanted to possess her – every part of her. And Rose, she willingly gave herself to him. Because she wanted to and because it was a small price to pay in return for everything he had given her – chief among which were answers to the strange abilities she'd inherited and a new life, away from the suburban boredom that would have been in store for her had she stayed.

"I already lost my son to them," he said with his mouth against her chest, bitterness thick in his voice. "I'm not going to lose you, too. I've trained you better than this."

"So it is jealousy," Rose mused. "Is this a pattern? Did you sleep with your son, too?"

Slade stopped and his glare was bone-chilling. His wet lips, however, ruined the effect. "I would advise you not to suggest anything like that again."

"Why? It's no worse than sleeping with your daughter. _Dad._ "

"This is different." Slade yanked her even closer by the waistband of her jeans.

"Oh yeah? Does it make you feel less guilty because I'm basically a stranger or because I'm a girl?"

Slade threw her one last dirty look before he shifted his attention to pleasuring her with his mouth. Rose forgot what else she was going to throw at his head because Slade knew what he was doing.

She didn't actually care about his relationship with his son. That was before her time. But she did know that Slade loved him very much or else he wouldn't have come up with this elaborate plan to destroy the Titans from the inside.

This was where Jason came in. Slade had singled him out as the weakest member of the herd, not because Jason was actually inferior to the others, but because he felt like he was. He was under the impression that he had something to prove before the others accepted him as their own. An exploitable weakness.

Slade would eventually want to try and turn Jason against the Titans – it was for this reason that Rose suggested she flirt with him. Or, well, it was partly for this reason and for her own amusement. She had no illusion of success – after all, Jason was so fixated on proving himself to Dick that she suspected more than just hero worship as his motivation. But he fell for her easily enough.

Just as she fell for him in the end. This surprised her. At first, he seemed so young and inexperienced to her, so dull compared to Slade. It was what she did a lot during that time, compare Jason to Slade and find all the ways he fell short in her mind, because thinking of Slade and how pleased he would be if she got Jason to side with him made spending time with Jason bearable.

But somehow, he endeared himself to her, and soon Rose no longer had to imagine it was Slade inside her when Jason made love to her. Because it was Jason she wanted.

And she wanted Jason safe. Away from Slade and his plans for him. She no longer wanted to be part of any of it, because it meant betraying Jason. And she'd already hurt him enough by lying to him.

She had made one mistake, though: she'd counted on Jason to forgive her for the things she'd done that landed him in trouble with the others. Too late she remembered that it pushed him to the brink of suicide, too.

Then as now, Jason – ever the thespian at heart – chose drama over reconciliation. Over the life they could have lived if they'd run away together. Rose crumples onto the nearest chair, no longer having the strength to stand on her own.

She has experienced a lot of pain over the past three years she has been with Slade, but not even losing her eye hurt as much as losing Jason does now.

The worst thing is that there's no physical wound that can close. How else will she know when this ache is going to go away?

Maybe she should have listened to Slade. Maybe she should not have gotten involved with Jason. Or fallen for him, at any rate. Or maybe she shouldn't have followed Slade's instructions and ruined Jason's standing with the others. Maybe then she would have had a chance with him.

Not that she could have known any of that beforehand. She's not equipped with the gift of clairvoyance or something. No use crying over spilt milk, as Slade would say.

She hasn't cried in so long – needing to appear strong in front of Slade – but she sure wants to now. The tears are there, she can feel them burning behind her eye. They just won't come out. Maybe if Jason had punched her...

No use.

She has to pull herself together. The Titans need her now. And Rose is glad for anything that might distract her from the excruciating ache in her chest.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Hurt My Heart" by White Lies.


End file.
